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Togo of Grand Smials
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November 2013
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Togo of Grand Smials [userpic]
Actual mysticism - 1 of a continuing series

Okay fine, I'll say it: the 1 thing I've been witholding from everyone, everywhere, everybody, all this time, is just that I've been training to be a shaman since I had my vision at age 5.

That's why the unconventional life-style and personal history ... from having a scholarship to Banff School of Fine Arts to dropping out of high-school and joining electronic espionage in the army.
All of it: the deep-background radicalism, the raising 5 kids in the highlands, the hi-tech hot-shot at 19, the monasticism, the pool-hustling beer-guzzling street musician, the project-spouting academic, the djembe-playing trance-dancing... just field research.
Those who care to know could have figured it out. I know some have had their intuitions; they've helped me some. The rest are either as though brain-damaged or they intentionally talk themselves out of their authentic intuition ... as they always do ... likely coming up with a whole set of ways to demean and dismiss me; most antagonism is a smoke-screen for evasion and denial. That's how it works: no point my trying to convince folk since if they need to be convinced it's likely for the worst of reasons.)

How does it work? Simple. (No, not easy ... I wrote "simple" cuz I meant "simple"; thinking at the level of a 3 year old is one of the many ways you avoid understanding.) ... I go "there" and come back with an un-typical experience, is all. The classical "heroes' quest".

An example:

Ultimate View ... either you are intentionally for others or you are against others, however "un-intentionally" ... deniability is key to the BluePill. And the BluePill view is all about gaining by others' loss.

No big deal? Major big deal.
There are something like 600,000,000 psychopaths and sociopaths in the world; most are clumsy and ignorant (cuz most folk are, actually, clumsy and ignorant) but a few have the benefits of rich society: education, position, credibility. So let's say there are something like 60,000,000 of thos.
Now thing is, sociopaths are hell-bent on wrecking other folk and they very usually bring their palaces down upon themselves, through strife or war or criminality. But psychopaths aren't that way: they don't mind wrecking folk, causing suffering, but they aren't sadistic ... for them other people are just objects to manipulate. Empower them with the trappings of power, and you got Problems with a capital P and Trouble with a capital T. So let's say they're half and half, sociopaths and psychopahts. Let's say of the 6 billion creatures on the gods' good earth there are 30,000,000 psychopaths in positions to do pretty much what they will. (See my venerable old "Fallen Angels", created in 1996.) And prolly gender neutral, so 15,000,000 men. (Hey, get off the pot ... it's still a chauvinistic world.)

Do I really think I can work through the forest of psychopaths? No. There's little to be done with them.

But what about the 5 billion people who are neither psychopaths nor sociopaths?

Guess what: if you aren't intentionally for others then you will easily cut a deal with the psychos ... with the bullies and his helpers ... left wing or right wing, corporate suits or drug-lord peasant-leaders, commie or fascist ... deniably, of course, professing that evil was never your intention ... and that's how it works: I'm like against an army of vampires, carrying a light, and you all are the scorpions and bushes and crawling bugs and biting snakes that swarm me as I stumble through the out-back.

When you are truly for yourself you are truly and intentionally for others. That's Ultimate View ... how we are not seperated by self-interest.

This after yet again delving authentically into actual desperation. (75c left and 3 weeks before my cheque comes; will I magnetize another brain-killing job in hi-tech?)
There. That's how it works.

May all beings realize the root of happiness free from suffering.

Tell me something: I just peeked a page layout I came up with ?what? 5 or 6 years ago. What do you think of it? My perenially alpha homepage is more to my liking, but ...

Between you, me, and these here walls *thunk thunk thunk*

"sorry kiddo, but the buddha wasn't being realistic - most of us are gonna remain unenlightened schmucks."
So I was chatting with one of the 3-year retreatants (They sometimes pass through the main monastery building.) and we were chatting about mundane behaviour, the sorta thing that drives folks crazy and I made a comment about, I dunno, paying attention to others ... "consciousness of space" is what it's called in kyu.do ... anyhow, he kinda *tut tut*s me and sez, "We can leave that sort of thing in the shrine-room." *wide-eyed stare*

Between you and me, k? Thus has it always been. Over-achievers aren't constrained to business and high-finance. "Wisdom without practice is like a rich man shackled to his treasure." Amazing how things get simple when we drop the Judeo-Christian rationalizations and abandon condemnation; there is no sin ... just neurosis, confusion and fear and bewilderment and all the other stuff that oughta move us to give folk fond looks and warm hugs. Thus has it always been.

"Just like fried rice"
Youuuuuuuuuuu are suuuuuuuuch a treat! huh huh.

K, here's where the pragmatics pan out: keeping to a simply diet on even a meager budget, one might afford a bag of very very fine miso ... lasts for months and ooooh-ohhhhhhh soooooo good!


p.s. as I commented to someone else in another thread earlier: A peculiar thing this morning: "I woke up from a very vivid dream with, well, the concept for a mad-cap novel in mind. Does "42" resonate with you? Anyhow, I stumbled to the keyboard (I haven't been able to find refills for my lovely fountain pen) and created The Golden Pig ... mebbe use Wiki as an interactive book?"

What I really value ... and this has everything to do with being ngakpa (google it, do!), relationship to consort ... in the dream as I gazed ever more deeply into her eyes I thought of how that would distract me from a spontaneous appreciation of the entire situation. Thing is, after waking and writing, I find that I can recall a lot about her but not a lot about the rest of the scene and the people in it! heeheee

BTW: did you ever check out "Vox"? my http://bentrem.vox.com turned out quite well, though it isn't active.